5 Practices Before Entering A New Relationship
I used to think that my husband and I were going to beat the odds…
You know statistics show that fifty percent of marriages end in
divorce? I never put much stock in that until I realized that between myself and my best friend who got married within a few months of each other, my relationship crumbled while hers is still going strong.
Sometimes no matter how hard you try, you can’t make something work and that’s okay. I the end my ex husband and I both benefited greatly from going our separate ways even if I couldn’t see that in the beginning. He wanted different things, I wasn’t willing to change and that’s not what love is about.
Recently I started to consider the possibility of dating again and if you’re in the same position as me, there are a few things you need to know and consider before opening yourself up to a new relationship.
Love Yourself First
This is paramount. If you’re too busy trying figure out what a potential partner would see in you to begin with, you’re going to completely miss the fact that this person is interested in you for a reason.
Knowing your worth and understanding that there’s a lot of value in that fact will help you in determining what kind of relationship you’re looking for and that you bring a lot to the table.
Lower Your Shields a Bit
Yes, this one is easier said than done. It’s hard to open your heart up again after you’ve felt it shatter, but this defense mechanism won’t help you move forward.
To be in love is to be vulnerable. You’re completely open, bearing your soul to another person hoping that they’ll do the same and that is one of the most terrifying things you can experience which is why the reward is so great. Understanding that keeping yourself constantly safe from heartache is a mistake will ultimately help you let new people in.
Know Yourself Inside and Out
What’s funny is that my longest and most successful relationship wasn’t with someone I was totally compatible with. The truth is, people tend to excel in love when they find a partner that compliments them.
Knowing what makes you strong and what doesn’t allows you an unbiased perspective on yourself. Nobody’s perfect so focusing on all the traits you like about yourself while ignoring those that others could see as difficult will only set you up for future relationship failure.
Compassion Goes a Long Way
I understand how important your story is. Mine is to me too, which is something you always need to consider when getting to know someone new. Everyone has a story and by giving someone your undivided attention while they share with you without judgment shows how far you’ve come since your last relationship.
There’s Nothing Wrong with Being Alone
Finally, this. I can’t stress this one enough. All too often people throw themselves into a new relationship to fill the void of the last while thinking it will help with the healing process.
Being on your own doesn’t have to be a scary thing and to be honest if you can’t find solace with yourself, you might not be ready to share yourself with another person. Being alone helps you recognize who you are so that when you do meet someone new, you’re able to see if you’re truly yourself around them or if you’re unconsciously changing your mannerisms to fit what you think they want.
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FacebookTwitterGoogle+Like7 Dear Thom, I was reading the post about struggling to move on (which I’m facing right now!) and wanted to see about resources to help with moving on.
FacebookTwitterGoogle+Like7 The IMO team will be out making cookies for the rest of the week. Come back next week for new articles and adventures! Christmas sugar cookie recepie: Makes 24 cookies.
FacebookTwitterGoogle+Like2 How many times have you heard at 10pm the night before Valentine’s Day – “Dad, I need cards for everyone in my class tomorrow.” Now you could try