Can I Get a Witness?!

Can I Get a Witness?!

Can I have a witness?! If you have attended a Pentecostal church or an African American church you may have heard that statement or demand for someone to stand up and affirm to a statement made by the preacher. What they are asking for is for someone to say, “amen”, “I agree”, “That’s what I would say!”

Moving On requires we have good, honest and faithful friends who will tell us the truth. They are not simply the friends who commiserate and empathize through the many trials divorce brings. These are the friends who we know will tell us the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. This sort of friend is usually very few and far between.

Misery loves company and being able to moan and complain about that swine who is dating a floozy or that cow who wants more child support, is not hard. We can sit and drink a glass of wine or down another beer and make agreeable noises.

The friends you need are people who know you and can tell you the truth about who you are. Friends who see what you bring to your new life. People who have seen your amazing courage and how well you have stood under immense pressure. You want to be able to ask friends who see though all the pain and disappointment and see you for the Talents that shine through all the stuff and confusion.

This will take courage especially when you are feeling down or discouraged.  Asking for help is seldom easy but that is what real friends are for.  Select two or three friends and have them over for dinner.  Invite one for coffee.  Send an email.

Here are some questions you can ask them:
• What do you see as my top three talents?
• If I was going to look for a new career, what do you believe would best match my talents?
• What have you consistently seen me do really well?
• What have you seen me do as a parent that you admire?
• How have I impacted your life in a positive way?
• Where have you seen me at my best?
• What do I bring to our friendship that really matters to you?

You will be surprised—probably blown away—at the willingness and amazing responses you will get. You need the encouragement and the truth that friends can bring to your life in your journey to Move On!

P.S. Please take the time to write a comment and share what your friends told you and how it impacted your life.

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About author

Mark Demos
Mark Demos 20 posts

Mark Demos has taken Forensics, the scientifically comprehensive evidence discovery process, to help you discover Evidence that applies to the important matters of life. From how to navigate through the toughest situations, to decisions about profession, education and parenting and ultimately defining your course in life. You will be directed and encouraged to discover Evidence of your Talents and apply them to creating a life filled with the three important "P's": Purpose, Passion and Performance." ​​ Dr. Elizabeth Loftus Ph.D. - Past President American Psychological Society and Distinguished Professor of Psychology and Law. University of California, Irvine. Buy Marks book here -

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1 Comment

  1. Wellandjoy
    August 25, 09:36 Reply
    Good questions, with them you need honest friends and family, and you as well, as it all boils down to what do you think of yourself. They say everything that is out there is just an illusion... everything happen within.

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