Coping Through a Bitter Divorce

Coping Through a Bitter Divorce

Between 40 and 50 percent of married partners in the U.S. end up in divorce. Unfortunately, not only is divorce a legal technicality; it’s also an emotional roller coaster.

You may find your soon-to-be-ex is more difficult to work with than you thought. This is not uncommon and there are tools to make divorce as smooth as possible.

Put Your Feelings Aside

An emotional state can diminish your capacity to think clearly, impair your judgment and make rational decision making difficult or impossible. Being emotionally prepared and having a plan is important. Time will be your best friend. Though the pain may seem endless, it will eventually lighten and finally go away. Be aware when you are in the early stage of grief and recovery because decision making may be a challenge – you want to make the best decisions you can.

Protect Your Children

For children, divorce can be an especially sad, stressful and confusing time. While it’s normal for a child to grieve the breakup of the family, as a parent, there’s plenty you can do to make the process less painful for your kids. Try and maintain each parent’s relationship with the children, so long as there is no evidence of abuse. While it’s good for kids to learn to be flexible, adjusting to many new circumstances at once can be very difficult. Help your kids adjust to change by providing as much stability and structure as possible in their daily lives. Your patience, reassurance and listening ear can minimize tension as your children learn to cope with unfamiliar circumstances. With your support, your kids can successfully navigate this unsettling time and even emerge from it feeling loved, confident and strong.

Be Clear On Your Priorities

Divorce is the division of assets, rights, and responsibilities for both parties. As a result, it’s important for divorcing spouses to establish clear priorities and figure out what’s most important. The first step in identifying your priorities is to recognize issues that are likely to come up in your divorce. Most common are custody, child support, property division, and alimony. If you and your attorney are not clear on your priorities, it can make it difficult to negotiate with your spouse or to make a decision when faced with a tough choice. No matter what you hope to achieve or avoid in your divorce, deciding what exactly it is you need out of your divorce is the first step in achieving it and moving on to a new chapter in life.

Ask for Professional Help

Because divorce is a complicated and emotional process for all parties involved, many couples benefit from financial advisers who use their knowledge of tax law, asset distribution and short- and long-term financial planning to achieve equitable divorce settlements; forensic accountants to conduct an examination into the finances of an individual or business, or child specialists to help parents make decisions about how they will co-parent post-divorce. By having specialists in each area perform the work in that area, you are getting the biggest value for your money. Connecting with people who are also dealing with divorce can help you shed any sense of isolation you may be experiencing, as well as prevent you from feeling marginalized by friends and family.

Contact an Experienced Chicago Divorce Lawyer Today

There are several things to keep in mind when determining the best lawyer for you. Be sure to choose someone experienced in divorce litigation and someone you feel comfortable working with. Your attorney also needs to understand your priorities. Regardless of how contentious your divorce may be, an attorney can provide the compassionate legal advocacy needed to help you move forward and protect your interests.

Previous Don't Fan Old Flames
Next Creative Diversionary Tactics...

About author

Michael Craven
Michael Craven 27 posts

Michael C. Craven is a well-known divorce attorney in Chicago, CPA and a partner of the law firm, Harrison & Held, LLP, located in the Chicago area. He is highly respected among other divorce attorneys, judges and his clients. He also holds a Master of Tax Law Degree (LLM). For more information about his services, contact Michael at or at Divorce Lawyers Chicago.

You might also like


No Comments Yet!

You can be first to comment this post!

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.