Feeling Half After Getting a Divorce
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Feeling Half After Getting a Divorce

The maze of emotions and feeling that you need to navigate to find your own voice after a divorce
Depositphotos_27950937_s-2015

Becoming a Half After Marriage

When you get married, you became a half of a couple. Your actions, your thoughts and your view become privy to the person that you have vowed yourself to be with. You have to share your life with that person, you commit yourself to them and everything you think, you say and you do is shared by the person who’s married to you. You share their views too and they are probably feeling the same way. Marriage changes people as many people around you would tell you. It changes how you see the world and how the world sees you and most importantly, how your husband or wife sees you. You start to please everyone, you change yourself to please your partner, make them comfortable, keep your worries bottled up inside so you don’t bother them and you end up being someone else on the surface. Someone who is happy and compensating and worry-less while inside you feel like a wreck. You start to blame everyone around you, especially your spouse for draining the life out of you and that usually ends up in divorce.

Losing Yourself to Divorce

The same story follows when you’re going through a divorce. Even though you feel all the negative emotions that are tied with a divorce, you also feel regret and guilt because you loved the person you are separating from, you shared your life with them, you changed yourself with and now you have to start fresh. You have to learn to live without them. After a divorce, all that remains of you is the half. The half of you that was committed into making that marriage work is gone with that marriage. You feel like you have to build yourself up again. You have to make yourself a whole person once more.

You feel like Only Half a Person

To be honest, there is going to be a void in your life. A void left by your divorce that you will want to fill but this is the time that you have to mold yourself according to your own ideas. You feel that people around you, all the people that you loved and respected and they loved and respected you in return are going to be seeing you in a completely different light. Some of them, especially your spousal family are going to blame you for hurting their member. Your family is going to support you or maybe they will blame you for giving up on a good thing. Your friends will tell you that you did the right thing but somewhere in their eyes, you will see that they don’t actually mean it. The point is that at the end of the day when you’re lying alone in bed, you’re feeling all those emotion all alone. There is no family, there are no friends there to tell you anything and it’s just your own mind telling you how everything is slowly falling apart but at the end it will be okay. That’s the part you need to hang on to.

Going Uphill after Divorce

You have to know that the worst part has passed and you have to start working to make everything right for you. You’re free of that relationship now. You’re your own person once more and your views and ideas are going to change. You have to allow that change to happen. You have to start from scratch and build your relationships back again. Remember that you’re no longer the person you were before your marriage. You’re no longer the person that you were before your divorce. You’re a new person that will need to take on the world from their own perspective from this point onwards.

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Cesar Mondragon
Cesar Mondragon 1 posts

Experiencing a terrible divorce, sharing my legal wisdom.

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1 Comment

  1. craigbic
    April 23, 08:13 Reply
    As someone who went through a divorce, I can really speak to the accuracy of this article. My wife and I married young and we each had different expectations of what the marriage meant and what was going to happen and what we would each be to the other. When reality fell short of those expectations, the negative feels started right in. The bottling up of those feelings only makes it all much worse and frequently results in resentment and lashing out. Children together makes an already tough situation even more complicated because parents frequently endure what has then become a bad relationship much longer than they should. It's much more unhealthy for the kids to remain in the situation then for the parents to just make a break and a fresh start earlier. It's a huge adjustment, of course, but healthier for everyone concerned in the long run. After the divorce, each person can then start working on themselves again.

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