How To… Move On, Part 1
Five years ago I was in a dark place, unsure of what to do or where to go. Then I began the process and journey of “moving on”.
When talking to friends going through a divorce or break up, the phrase ” moved on” always seems to come up. Not as a way to push this community, but as a simple metaphor of the process. And it is a process, or journey which we can see as dark and lonely, or we can positively move forward into the light and find the new and improved self.
When someone has been a huge part of your life, it is impossible to simply forget and move from A to B. We will always carry A, as part of our lives and memories.
When you first met your “life partner”, you loved them. Their was an attraction that may have lasted 6 months to decades. For me personally, I will always have my ex somewhere in my heart. Not a longing, but a place that wonders what it would have been like to be us as an old and grey couple, instead of sitting in a Court room.
So how does one move on?
First, find yourself.
A lot of newly found singles spend their first year of new found freedom trying to validate themselves through others. Constantly looking for love in ghost images of that “ex” that usually end in hollow sexual experiences of regret, depression and disappointment with Self.
So find “self”. This is not a class in self infatuation. But coming out of a long term relationship, you probably really dont know what, or who you are looking for.
- Dedicate your first year to a relationship with yourself and not depending on someone else’s image of you. This is one of the wisest decisions I ever made. Parking the open proclamation to friends and family takes a lot of pressure off of “getting back in the saddle”. You have the rest of your life for the perfect partnership.
- Try something Different. Step out of Your Comfort Zone, take a class or try a new sport. Change your environment, work on your house. Paint is cheap way to start fresh.
- Turn that Frown, Upside Down. Work on your attitude, for life, your kids and your ex. Become the person you have always wanted to be, smile and help others.
Small steps, and a simple start. Just keep moving.
Watch for Friday & Saturday posts on Health and Wellbeing. Friday you missed “Host a movie night” Saturday we learned from a new writer her evolution in running from hatered to pure love. Above all we hope you will get involved, join the journey and help others through the journey of moving on.
Love & Move Forward,
P.S. The year rule is like a diet, it’s ok to break your fast or make a mistake, but ONLY under your rules.
P.P.S. This helped me. I’m flawed and failed but that’s ok, I learned more about me.
P.P.P.S. This includes dating sites! Just relax, make new friends and take the pressure off of impressing others or being someone your not. Just find yourself, your investing in your NEXT big adventure.
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FacebookTwitterGoogle+Like8 “If you were born with the weakness to fall you were born with the strength to rise -Rupi Kaur You can do this. Keep breathing and moving on.
Not long ago, I had occasion to enjoy a wonderful Italian dinner in Tuscany. My sons and I dined at the invitation of an older Italian gentleman. He was full of advice for my teenage sons about life, love and his personal experience with the female race.