Learn to flourish when you are not in control
There comes a time in everyone’s life when you realize that you are not in control. Life has a funny way of
showing you this fact, and sometimes it can be downright scary. When this happens to you there’s one of two things you can do to cope with this. You can learn to flourish and deal the hand you are being dealt, or you can fold your hand.
This is a situation I found myself in 2 years ago when my smallest one had the first of a long line of seizures. She would stop breathing and convulse on the ground for minutes at a time, and I couldn’t shake the feeling of helplessness and vulnerability. I had never felt more powerless to change anything in my entire life, and it was frightening to know that I couldn’t change a thing about it.
We began treatments and she just wasn’t responding to any of the medication or hospital visits. Even though my smallest child was in and out of many specialists for the next few months, our relationship grew by leaps and bounds. Eventually it got to the point where we began to doubt if she would ever get better, as she continued her periodic seizures.
Instead of feeling helpless and giving in to despair, I focused on what I could control. Being able to surrender my desire to control everything was the first step towards recovery for our family. Even though my daughter had become a shell of herself, we focused as a family to support her and being there for her. Over time our efforts and focus helped our family come together and deal with the difficult times and become stronger together. Here’s a few of the stages we went through, try them to make the best out of what’s been
Shift your focus.
Instead of dwelling on what the problem is or how your life is out of control, shift your focus to think about the things you can control.
Finding things you can control and contribute is imperative, because this allows you to regain some purpose. Feeling helpless is natural but finding a way around this feeling is the most important part of flourishing when you are out of control.
Turning your despair into joy can be done by being thankful for the things that you can control. Find the positives in your situation, even though it may seem impossible at the time.
Our family is stronger than ever having gone through this time, and the most important thing that my spouse and I learned was that keeping a positive attitude was key. Flourishing under less than ideal situations isn’t easy, and our experience has made it easier for us to cope with hard times. No matter what life throws at you, the careful use of your thoughts can lead you to flourish in the most challenging circumstances.
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