Moving On from Stumbling Mistakes

Moving On from Stumbling Mistakes

I got to talk to a sweet friend today who lost her husband and dear friend of mine to cancer. As always, she inspires me, and so being honest, Thom’s Tuesday comes to you “with a little help from my friend” (Also of course inspired by some English guys).

The loss of a loved one not only severs the heart but also the part of the brain let’s call “clear thought”…(new inspired character for the Disney movie Inside Out). You just wake up “foggy” and unable to hold clearly connected thoughts or plan ahead. My friend put it best–it feels like stumbling through the day, in hindsight, making some poor decisions with self, family, friends, and even work.

For about a year following my divorce, I had that hazy kind of dazed look. The act of juggling the job of two at home and regular work and travel just seemed to happen. Looking back, I’m not sure how we survived, were clean, and not starving. It was very hard to string a lot of thoughts together or plan for “self” very well. But somehow it did seem to happen, and things got done.

Know that the “Fog” will lift!

Stumbling Towards a New Horizon

If you do stumble, miss a few parent’s meetings, or show up a week early with chips and dip, just take a breath and know that we have all been there with you. So, enjoy the dip, and don’t eat too many chips… And know that as long as you’re stumbling, you’re moving forward. For some, it might only take months for the fog to begin to clear, and for others it takes years. If life seems particularly hectic, find time to “be still” mentally. Even for only two minutes: stop, close your mind (find a closet depending on the age of your kids), and just be still. Something that has helped me is a free app I’ve mentioned before that just became Apple’s App of the Year, Calm. It has a “Breathe Bubble” program that sounds very tree-huggy, but I swear by it for a couple of minutes a day. I think it works for me as it’s a visual reminder I’ve set up with an alarm to remind me to slow down and focus.

With love and skinned knees,


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About author

Thom Slade
Thom Slade 282 posts

“Healing for the broken hearted. A map, guide and community to move on positively/fantastically in life with a healthy beaming smile”
Thom. Thom is the originator and alter-ego of Divorce Survivor, Single Parent, and now moving on to new adventures in Life. Follow his journey here every week, or on Instagram and Facebook.

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