The Newly Divorced Dater

The Newly Divorced Dater

Divorce Recovery….do we really have to “recover”?  Why can’t we just walk away, slam the door behind us and carry on? I don’t need recovery!

Imagine this……you just got divorced from a 26 year marriage. You are finally free to flirt in public with that gorgeous 24-year old girl at the office you’ve been stalking for months. You’re single!  You can do anything you want without guilt! YAY! So, you finally ask her out and she says yes. YAY!

You are so excited as you dress for dinner at a great restaurant. It’s pricey but if you only have one glass of wine, or better yet, skip it altogether, the bill won’t be so bad. Besides, you have a coupon.  You meet there:  you in your new car, she in Uber. She looks amazing with her tight red dress, 5″ heels and long blonde hair. You banter about work, you tell her all about the boring, difficult years living with your ex who you are still entangled with over child custody. Your date is listening intently! Well, she is a nurse, after all, and she knows a lot about the disc you pulled, your recent hip replacement and being allergic to hair dye. She actually had some very helpful tips. She obviously likes you! Hey….maybe you’ll have sex after this! The thought makes your heart pound (or is that fibrillation?). You skip desert and get the check. Now, knowing the younger generation believes in equality, you ask the waiter to split the bill equally. You offer to take her home and she agrees. You call the valet, tip him $1, and jump in the front seat, ready to show off your new yellow corvette. She climbs in, and the valet rushes over to get the door for her.  She seems a bit irritated when you put the top down. You think her hair looks sexy blowing in the wind like that, and you can hardly feel the mist. You hope the neighbors see you together when you pull up.

As you arrive at the house, she just sits there, not getting out. You assume she wants a kiss, so you lean over to plant a good one on her and grab her thigh at the same time. But before you can, she turns her head and jumps out of the car, leaving you kissing the air. You begin to follow her when she abruptly turns and says “NO! STAY!” and slams the door in your face.

What went wrong?

Everything! Every. Single. Thing. Some of you might be giggling at this, thinking you would never do these things, but they are VERY COMMON mistakes. Very!

Divorce Recovery is about getting back to YOU, not Mr. Suave and Single guy! You learn to be confident and authentic, not desperate. You learn to look at your divorce with a bit more neutrality, and I help you stop the toxic cycles. It will open your eyes to the changes that went on while you were distracted in your married life.  You don’t know what you really want just yet. A little hint….its not just a gorgeous young hottie on your arm.

You started the divorce, but it’s not really complete until you are! You need to heal. If you don’t, you will be dragging your old issues into every new relationship, making mistake after mistake socially. You can’t do this alone, let me help get you back on your feet again!

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Joni James
Joni James 8 posts

Joni James is a facilitator at Austin Divorce Recovery. Austin Divorce Recovery is POWERFUL help when you need it most. It is a ten week workshop for anyone who is trying to recover from the loss of a committed relationship. It is proven that people who take this workshop heal a year faster than those who don't.

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