I’m not talking about some weird obsession with watching old people doing it…
Nobody wants to watch that other than those involved in it…
Now before the one percent of our community complains, recent studies show that that those over 65 are enjoying as much nookie as those 35-45 so “High Five” to you.
Before the majority of our audience checks out depressed… this message is for you.
Respect Your Elders and particularly those with long standing successful relationships.
I travel a lot. Which means I’m often bored and delayed in airports. Like many of you (own up) I love to people watch. In particular couples and how they interact and compare to the ones I know and more specifically those that look like they have been together a few decades. I’ve come to characterize those relationships into three groups.
I have an old memory of being in the car with my Grandmother as we drove away from my grandad, and she flipped him the finger. Not just a slight suggestion, but a major arm swipe as she sat next to her 8 year old grandson, baby Thom. I’m not sure why this brings a smile to my face now. I’m sure they were not “The Humpsters” and not happy at that moment in time, but they were married for over 50 years and I guess an occasional bird is called for. I’m sure you have also observed marriages that seem like two grumpy people from a classic sitcom that constantly bicker and from the outside look and act like they despise each other. But I have also seen in these couples deep, deep, love that only time creates act out in these relationships. Somehow they have survived together, and don’t seem to live long apart. I’m amazed at the level of commitment to the marriage. They don’t have to stay together anymore, it’s not 1935, and their dating pool is ever growing.
So cheers to “The Grumpsters”, and recent grandparents celebrating 75 years, I’m amazed and inspired that I can find someone and be that committed for life.
I recently attended a wedding where the officiator instructed the couple that in a successful relationship one must pick a room in the house to be bad in, and to pick wisely ( Irish wedding are the best). I’ve been around the parents for a dozen years. they are very open with their sexuality and have not quit flirting with each other in 20 years. Ive also met retirees, The Humpsters, whom still flirt with each other with sexual innuendo and inappropriate comments in front of the grandkids. I used to be embarrassed around these types of couples. I used to believe it was all show, but I have also experienced when it’s not, and we see a couple decades in where the “home fires” keep burning.
So what’s their key to not burning out?
I believe it’s keeping their mind, focus and fascination on their partner, and not on “life”. For them time flys with the same dance moves from 17 to 70. I believe the “young heart” is full of “young desires”. So keep young in heart, mind and in the bedroom and you won’t be “retiring” in the retirement home.
We all know couple that are always on the move and on new adventures, don’t get bored, seek out new places and stories to share. In retirement your plan should be to do new things you have not done before and explore as a couple. It doesn’t have to be traveling the world but learning to Tango or speak a new language together will keep your relationship fun.
When you settle, like sediment, you don’t move forward.
So people watchers. I plan on commitment, keeping a young heart with young desires and not settling in my next relationship but continuing to grow.
Sounds like something we all would agree with right? So what goes wrong and what rules can we learn from the wise?
Rule number one
Never forget how you met, how you felt when you met, bottle those stomach butterflies like gold dust. Survival of these passionate memories are like your song. They evoke your soul, and a reason to defend each other and commitment to the death.
Rule Number two
Keep it interesting and keep learning. Fresh bread is more desirable than stale.
Rule number three
Never forget sexytime
Rule number Four
Never forget rule number one, two and three.
I can write this with authority as I am the chief of sinners. I forgot these rules and it cost me my marriage. Over the years I have seen these rules broken and marriages withered away and destroyed. Forward this simple message to all your happily married friends or those thinking of this lifelong commitment. I’ve tried with those already flat lined in their marriage and it’s impossible to get a heartbeat. Where a person has already strayed from the marriage they can’t seem to link back to the past It blocked with a promise of a new future.
Stay passionate, focused and committed,
With love, heartbreak (and some Irish freaky-time)
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