Sometimes it takes…

Sometimes it takes…

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Sometimes it takes…

You say that you want to move on, putting the divorce behind you and getting on with your life. You claim that you want to feel better, to stop crying and start living. Perhaps you even announce that you’re over your ex and that you’re ready to start looking for someone new.

Yet that desired progress isn’t happening.

The life you envision isn’t unfolding and instead, you find yourself stuck. Anchored in the muck and mire of the divorce. Not a member of your old life, yet not yet fully living in your new one.

It’s easy to make excuses for why you can’t seem to move on. You’re angry, and rightfully so, that your life plan turned out to be written in disappearing ink. Maybe your ex cheated, stealing your ability to trust along with your imagined future. Perhaps your bank account is anemic and all of your energy has to go to replenishing its stores. You might have endured horrible court battles that wounded you and your children. You may be adjusting to life as a single parent or a sole breadwinner.

But those are all excuses, bindings that keep you lashed to the past. After all, it’s easier to say, “I can’t move on because of (insert favorite excuse here)” rather than shouldering the responsibility of moving on by yourself.

Start making choices which will keep you going and growing in the right direction. You need to make choices which will keep you working through the grief to get on with life after divorce.

What are the choices you can start making?

-Get counseling and support. Find a counselor. Need help finding one? Reach out to us on our contact page and we will happily connect you to a close or online support.

-Begin to journal your grief and feelings.

-Start a job search if employment or finances are an issue. Get some help with your resume from someone you know who has some expertise in this area.

-Begin to make one goal a week which will help your life improve. Exercise regularly. Eat nutritiously.

-Accept that life will be a challenge. But remember… Just temporarily..

If you are going through a divorce or if you would like to talk to someone about your relationship, we’d love to hear from you. You can start a conversation with an IMO team member on our contact page or make a comment below.

-The IMO team

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About author

Aundie Donohue
Aundie Donohue 82 posts

Aundie comes to IMO from a career grounded by fashion and design. "My enthusiasm for this work started when I studied fashion in the Lone Star State and later in Paris— the City of Lights". Aundie is a wardrobe stylist, clothing designer, eBay entrepreneur and project manager with Mary Kay, JC Penny, Neiman Marcus, Elle Magazine , Blue October to name a few.

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3 Comments

  1. Thom Slade
    January 23, 18:34 Reply
    Thanks Aundie. It's hard sometimes to cut those bindings from the past, and sometimes they seem to re-tie themselves... Stay positive and keep positively moving forward :-)
  2. AnnAbbitz
    January 30, 21:06 Reply
    Great advice all around in this post! When I was getting over the split with my first husband, I was depressed and it honestly seemed like I was never going to pull myself out of it. My road back to myself began one morning when I decided that I'd guarantee to do at least ONE nice thing for myself each day going forward. This helped so much because it helped me to realize that my life & my happiness is not dependent on someone else liking or loving me. The only person that can truly impact how you view yourself is YOU! When I realized that, and started my "guarantee" exercise... I was soon back to my old, happy self. :)
  3. Jason Clark
    June 06, 05:53 Reply
    Solid tips and advice. These can certainly help my cousin who got divorced 4 months back but still struggling to forget her ex and move on with his life. I will surely hook him up with you guys very soon. He surely needs help. What little I could do I did but he really needs specialized care now. I hope he gets back to his prime after talking with the very caring and considerate guys at IMO. Thanks!

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