Sometimes it takes…
You say that you want to move on, putting the divorce behind you and getting on with your life. You claim that you want to feel better, to stop crying and start living. Perhaps you even announce that you’re over your ex and that you’re ready to start looking for someone new.
Yet that desired progress isn’t happening.
The life you envision isn’t unfolding and instead, you find yourself stuck. Anchored in the muck and mire of the divorce. Not a member of your old life, yet not yet fully living in your new one.
It’s easy to make excuses for why you can’t seem to move on. You’re angry, and rightfully so, that your life plan turned out to be written in disappearing ink. Maybe your ex cheated, stealing your ability to trust along with your imagined future. Perhaps your bank account is anemic and all of your energy has to go to replenishing its stores. You might have endured horrible court battles that wounded you and your children. You may be adjusting to life as a single parent or a sole breadwinner.
But those are all excuses, bindings that keep you lashed to the past. After all, it’s easier to say, “I can’t move on because of (insert favorite excuse here)” rather than shouldering the responsibility of moving on by yourself.
Start making choices which will keep you going and growing in the right direction. You need to make choices which will keep you working through the grief to get on with life after divorce.
What are the choices you can start making?
-Get counseling and support. Find a counselor. Need help finding one? Reach out to us on our contact page and we will happily connect you to a close or online support.
-Begin to journal your grief and feelings.
-Start a job search if employment or finances are an issue. Get some help with your resume from someone you know who has some expertise in this area.
-Begin to make one goal a week which will help your life improve. Exercise regularly. Eat nutritiously.
-Accept that life will be a challenge. But remember… Just temporarily..
If you are going through a divorce or if you would like to talk to someone about your relationship, we’d love to hear from you. You can start a conversation with an IMO team member on our contact page or make a comment below.
-The IMO team
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