Sulking Post Divorce
“Woe is me” is, I believe, part of the healing process. But only when it results in getting back out of bed with a “Braveheart” type scream to take on the world.
It’s quite healthy and natural to want to curl up into a ball in your bed and sulk for a bit both during and post divorce. Life has generated some rather large lemons that refuse to be made into any type of lemonade. You have lost a lot. A partner (for better or for worse), maybe your home (and that hideous china), financially (it will take longer than your college loans) and the worse most depressing bit my be your kids (or a cat if you don’t have kids). All in all, it sucks, and can lead to sulking and more sucking, of your thumb.
Stages of Divorce Sulking
During – Getting to grips with the reality that the sun is setting is really hard. If your the one running for the door, there might be peace in the moment, but for most over the coming months there are a lot of times you might crawl up into a ball in your bed, on your couch or even in your car to shut the world out and feel sorry for yourself. I can remember one of my greatest sulks as a child. Stomping upstairs, jumping in bed and crying about nothing. The nothing really was for my mum to come in, make me feel safe and be told that everything was going to be OK. On that occasion, I remember a very long evening as no on came. Which can be how it feels during your divorce when your confused and angry.
And that’s OK.
During this process your going to need some alone time. Not to suck sour lemons, but to get to grips on how your life is changing and many parts are out of your control. Months can feel like years, and it is a hard road. During this time, feel free to crawl into your bed for a while, but set it on a timer. If you have kids, they need your more than ever and need you to remain consistent and positive.
Post – Your new reality, It might be having your kids all the time to only seeing them every other weekend. Now the papers are signed you may sulk at what could have been or what you have lost. Bit now its time to get on with it and life. Use more of your alone time for planning a new future, and looking to the positive.
Moving on & Past it -Taking on sadness as part of your persona is not something you wan to take forward with you in life. It is time to put away the pacifier, stop sucking your thumb and move on.
If you cant get past the past, and are really needing help, try calling one of our professionals in our Business Listings section or feel free to email us your thoughts or questions.
P.S. September is National Suicide Prevention Month. Find out how you can #BeThe1To support suicide prevention and help people in crisis. If you are in a place where you need help now, please call The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. A national network of local crisis centers that provides free and confidential emotional support to people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. We’re committed to improving crisis services and advancing suicide prevention by empowering individuals, advancing professional best practices, and building awareness. We can all help prevent suicide. The Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, and best practices for professionals. 1-800-273-8255
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