The Two Trolls That Stop You From Moving On.
There are two big ugly, nasty smelly vile beasts that stand in the way on you moving on. I remember reading the Story of “The Three Billy Goats Gruff” to my kids when they were young. The story told about three goats who wanted to cross a bridge and eat the luscious green grass that was just across the bridge. The problem was that there was a nasty troll who liked his goat rare and juicy and would eat any adventurous goat who tried to cross.
Troll #1. Defining your future by what you want to avoid. i.e. I will never marry a man who has a temper like my ex. I will never get involved with a woman who is so damn negative.
There is a fundamental principal in human experience which says that we will get what we focus on. When we hold the picture of what we don’t want, that is what dominates and imprints on our minds. We somehow attract and we are magnetized to have whatever it is we focus on. Even if it is a negative that has hurt, harmed, cheated, growled and barfed all over us, we will get what we focus on.
If you are determined to Move On and not Go Back to what you want to Move On from, then define you future by what you want. Define it by what is good, healthy and what you know is foundational to a great future. Kill the troll!
Troll #2 Defining yourself by what you are not. When we don’t know what defines the best of who we are and what we bring to our future, we tend to live based on past failure and doubt. Moving On demands we do a thorough analysis of who we are and then Move On with that as a launching pad.
We all have our stuff. You, me and everyone. That is not what builds a bright future. I have done forensics for over 20 years. About 15 years ago I started developing a process I coined Positive Forensics. What Positive Forensics does is do an analysis of everything – all the evidence – that defines our best selves. I call it an Analysis of Asset. What assets do I possess to build a future that will last, be strong, vibrant and quite frankly be amazing.
There is a great song which says, “Everybody Got Their Something” which means you. You might be a little or a lot battered, beaten down and discouraged. Start by doing an Analysis of Asset and write down 25 things (pieces of evidence) of things you are good, great and exceptional at. Just start and see what happens. Kill the troll!
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FacebookTwitterGoogle+Like1 “She’s a teenager–she’ll get over it.” Actual stellar advice spoken aloud to my mom when my parents separated. Besides the obvious uncaring nature of the insensitive comment, it’s completely