Tips on How to Deal with Life after Your Husband Leaves You

Tips on How to Deal with Life after Your Husband Leaves You

I personally believe that being married is one of the greatest joys in life. There is no wonder why a lot of people spend a lot for this

special day. I, for instance, have spent a huge amount for my wedding day. And this is one thing that I regret to this day. Why? Because unlike many others, I have been unfortunate to suffer from a failed marriage. I initially dreamed of a happy life and to live with my husband forever. Turns out, I am too ambitious, or maybe, idealistic. A few years after our marriage, our relationship went on the rocks. Small fights turned into heated arguments, and before we know it, we were parting ways.

Dealing with a relationship that did not work, in spite of your efforts, is never an easy feat. I was crying for days, or maybe even weeks. I was so down. I lost hope. I was clueless about how to confront the future. Fortunately, I was over that stage. I found a way to find happiness in other things, or perhaps, in other people. Now, I can consider myself fully-healed. I have fully moved on.

How exactly was I able to get up from the struggle of a failed relationship? Keep on reading and I will provide you with insights on some of the best things that you can do after your husband leaves you.

Ask Questions

Questions – I have lots of them when my husband left me. What did I do wrong? Am I the one to be blamed? What will happen without him? Could have I prevented our separation? Could have I been a better wife? These are just some of the questions that ran across my mind. It is just natural to question yourself or the situation in general. One of the first things that you have to do is to think about the reasons why the relationship ended that way. It is going to give you a clearer perspective of what happened.

Look for Support

No man is an island, or should I say, no woman separated from her husband should be an island. It would be best to seek for support from people you love, specifically your family and friends. Breakups are never easy to deal with. Be surrounded with people who can provide the emotional support that you need. They will remind you that there is always a rainbow after the rain. They will make you realize that there is more to life and that life goes on.

Fix your Finances

Handling your finances is one of the most complicated things that you have to be dealing with following your separation. Immediately close your joint accounts. Find a way to divide the money amongst you. As soon as possible, open your own bank account. This is especially true if you have always been financially-dependent on your husband. If you have other properties that you have acquired together, consult with a lawyer to know the legal remedies for the situation. Start achieving financial freedom on your own. Invest your money. Look for a way to have it grown. You must learn how to achieve financial independence.

Accept your Fate

It is natural to be in denial at first. In my case, I have been denying to myself that my husband has left me. I remained optimistic until I reach the point that I am already desperate. Acceptance is one thing that you should learn. Accept the fact that you cannot have all the good things in life. Accept the fact that your husband does not really love you. Accept the fact that your husband has someone else if in case the separation is due to infidelity. With acceptance, moving on will be a lot easier. It is going to give you a clearer perspective and without a heavy heart.

 Have a Makeover

I felt ugly when my husband left me. Every time I looked at the mirror, I would self-pity and ask what is physically wrong with me. Such is the point of my life where I felt at my ugliest. I suggest that you take advantage of the situation to improve yourself physically. Ever heard of the divorce diet? I swear it is effective. I have lost a couple of pounds. Go to the salon. Have your hair colored, trimmed, or styled the way you want it. Shop for clothes. Believe me; it is going to be therapeutic. By having a makeover, you will feel better about yourself.

Meet Other People

This is one of the best pieces of advice that I can give to any woman who has been left by their husband. Give yourself a few weeks to mourn and to accept the fact that you are now on your own. However, do not dwell in the misery of your failed marriage. Rather, start going out. Have fun. Meet other people. Have sex. Believe me, it will help. No one is too old to go out on a date. Even if you have been already married, you can still explore the dating scene and meet other people. You do not necessarily have to find a replacement for your husband. You just need to discover more of life.

Be Optimistic

Even in the time of adversary, you have to learn how to find beauty out of the situation. This is exactly what I did when my husband left me. I tried as much to be optimistic. I always thought that his departure from my life should be welcomed because it means that we can finally pursue our own happiness. The mere fact that he left me meant that he is no longer happy. I cannot be happy if he is not happy. With this, separation becomes easier to accept. Finally, I can do the things I have always wanted. I can now have the freedom to live life.

Your life does not end when your husband leaves. Do not dwell in anger or revenge. Learn how to find acceptance and keep going. Believe me, there are far better things in life than your husband who decided to leave you!

 

-Joanna

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2 Comments

  1. Kathy
    August 14, 07:31 Reply
    This is horrible advice...question why? Why would you beat yourself up so much?
  2. Thom Slade
    August 19, 19:09 Reply
    Kathy, I really appreciate you taking the time to send a comment. The great thing about IMO is that it also stands for "In My Opinion" or is a place where anyone can share their own story. Many have said that sharing from their heart has given them better strength to reach for their future. So I would love to hear yours. Thom

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